Chapter 12 – My Values and Your Values ※

Creaaak. Slam. The especially quiet sound of the extravagant door opening and closing made it even more depressing.

Had I not been in this state, I would never have kicked Azel out.

I suppressed my heart screaming with guilt. I wondered why he got so frustrated; even this trivial thing didn’t work out for us.

Even though I didn’t mean to hurt him.

No matter how much I tried to think about why, my brain was completely useless right now. I had no choice but to deal with my aroused body that didn’t work the way I wanted it to, and the desire that had been stirred up.

I struggled to sit up on my bed properly, dragging my sluggish body with a clouded mind. But of course, it wasn’t possible for me to do that.

“Hh… ngh. Nn, ah…!”

I dragged the sheets, and fell out of the bed in the end.

But still, there’s the soft carpet, so I can’t escape this problem without some sacrifice.

As I fell down, though I didn’t want to do it on the carpet, I curled up and slipped my hands into the opening of my night clothes.

“Ngh, ah…”

My member, already a bit wet, got hard surprisingly fast as I entangled it with my fingers and stimulated it several times, and spat out a clear, sticky liquid.

I didn’t have the luxury to feel like that, even in my previous world. Perhaps because I had barely touched it, but I got a stimulus full of desire, as if it had been waiting impatiently.

“Ha… Ah, aah…”

Not long after I started to comfort myself, together with my uncontainable voice, a sticky and thick cum spilled onto my hand.
It’s a record-breaking speed. I want to cry.

It was the fastest I had ever come, but the member in my hand was still firm even though it wasn’t just long after I came. I started to feel troubled.

Though it was something I couldn’t resist, it was a shameless thing to do.

In the prison of someone else’s castle.
Engrossed in jerking myself off at the foot of the bed, while curled up on the carpet.

When I tried to sort out my situation, I felt like I did something extremely sinful.

Yet, even if I left it alone, the carnality that doesn’t seem to subside brought heat to my core. I shut my eyes in resignation, and started to move my hands, free from obstructive thoughts.

Rub. Squelch.
“Shit… because, of… ah, ngh… the poison… Nn, ha… ah…”

Indulging my mind dizzy with anemia, I stroked myself over and over while making excuses.

While I was absorbed in jerking off, the pain, distress and fatigue also numbed.
Perhaps it was for the sake of giving comfort to the prey while drinking lifeblood.

Since it was sucked up that much, it was inevitable that the same amount of poison flowed into my body.

Saliva spilling from the edge of my parted lips wet the carpet, but I didn’t mind it.

My body began to twitch little by little, finally reaching climax.

“Ah… nn, ah…! Ha, haa… ah…”

The intervals between my erratic breathing had become shorter and shorter.
The movement of my hands became more fervent, and unable to endure it, I bit the sheets I dragged along with my body.
The sheets soaked with my saliva had become wet.

The second time I came took much longer than the first, but even so, it delivered a pleasant numbness to my hips, without the indecent sensation settling down.

Having calmed down a bit, I fixed my ragged breathing.

While lying exhausted, I realized that the thick cum couldn’t be completely caught with one hand, and eventually stained both my night clothes and the carpet. I hated myself.

My body was still on fire, but seemed to settle down when I stayed still like this.

I sluggishly washed my hands in the bathroom, held the towel that I wet, and in some way or another, cleaned the carpet and my clothes.

I struggled to stand, though I staggered and fell down twice due to anemia.

When my sensitive skin grazed the fabric, it exuded an unbelievable pleasure, but I didn’t gasp in an unruly manner.

I got up to the bed, and burrowed myself into it deeply, the area around my hips still throbbing painfully.
I closed my eyes tight, and pretended not to notice.

—As soon as I composed myself, what immediately came to mind was the back of Azel, who left the room more depressed than ever before.

I was doing well as a good fodder, but as soon as I was allowed to get out of the prison, to organize an errand that I can’t say… didn’t it seem like I was trying to escape?

It’s understandable he’d be suspicious of that.
That’s why I can fully understand why he misunderstood, got mad and said those things in the spur of the moment, and reminded me of where I stand, from his perspective.

I was fiercely devoured, but he healed my wound and apologized. He probably didn’t intend to take blood relentlessly to the point where I couldn’t move properly.

‘I’ve done it!’ he must’ve thought.

It’s not like suspecting me that I might run away was too much, but I didn’t think that he’d be that upset.

There’s no reason for me to be recognized as someone so important that he would be so opposed to me running away.
After all, I tried to kill him.

But the reality was undesirable to the point where his misunderstanding accelerated, and he threatened me.

—If he was going to leave the room so sadly, I should’ve told him that I wanted to do it, without acting so unreasonable and overbearing.

For the past three weeks, he has always been gentle, noisy, and a little bit strange, but I shouldn’t have hurt him, who wasn’t so honest.

I don’t feel scared, angry, disgusted or offended with something like that done to me.

I’m food for him, but in the end, he didn’t treat me as pitiful as someone who was merely a food.

He treated me more importantly than others.

My feelings of gratitude aren’t something that would crumble just because of a little conflict.
I’m truly grateful, from the bottom of my heart, for all the words I’ve received when we met, and all the things that came to me.

So, it’s just that I’m really very sorry.

I let him do something terrible, and I’ve also said harsh things. I want to apologize.

I want to apologize and make up with him.

“Tomorrow… we made a promise, so… I…”

I muttered like a whisper, and as I decided on tomorrow, my consciousness fell into a deep sleep.

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